I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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