Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
