thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
