apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
