the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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