so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
