Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
