I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
