My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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