he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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