you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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