I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
