Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
