STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
