Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
