I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
where are you?
Hypothermia
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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