After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
