yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
