Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
