I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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