Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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