so that wasnt chicken after all
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
