Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
