Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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