Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
