I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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