Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
