he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
