sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize