my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So drunk its hurt
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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