Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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