apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I could make wine with my vomit
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
