Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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