I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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