What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
