Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro