you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
