worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
