i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
