sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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