I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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