I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
