You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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