What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
