Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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