i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He better not be in your backpack
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
