Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
