you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
