I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
