I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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