i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
