im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
