i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
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Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize