Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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