Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
