I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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