yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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