and i looked up. we had an audience...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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