She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
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I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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