You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
