margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
