He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
