Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't deserve a penis
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
