I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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